I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
