I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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