i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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