So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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