I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
