They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
All I want is dick and wine.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
