Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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