wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
