I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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