NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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