I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
