If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
We need to rekindle our bromance
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
