I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I just had sex on a roof
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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