There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
