Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize