shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
