i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
