Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Randomize
