hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
