i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
is wine microwaveable?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
