I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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