3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize