Do you still have your period?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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