we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
