I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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