My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
