the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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