I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
