Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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