so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
