Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
not ubering you a puppy
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
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