It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
