Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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