who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
