i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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