Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
