That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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