good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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