Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
