why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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