In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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