You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize