i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i barfeds in our rink
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
my poor anus
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
