So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
