Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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