Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
