i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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