You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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