Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
