My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
