Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i've created a new STD.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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