Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
