Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
