You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
