I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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