im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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