hell yes lets make some ravioli
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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