Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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