I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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