if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
