I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
