Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Success! We fucked roommates!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
