Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
