We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
