I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i think i have herpe
just one?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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