He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
