this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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