The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
