i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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