Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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